I recently endured a public spat between a Facebook Group member and the Group admin. The member had been reminded about the policy of no self promotion, then promptly published a post announcing her departure from publishing to the group. I could almost see The scene in A League of Their Own where Tom Hanks laments, "There's no crying in Baseball". People started taking sides, followed by posts contained cordial respect, all the while reinforcing friendships and entrenched positions. Meanwhile, the issue of self-promotion on Social Networks got very little ink. Lots of heat, zero illumination. I'm baffled why we have all the technology we need, but can't seem to make it work. The challenge of Facebook seems to be, how to get business leaders to accept the idea that there are different types of digital marketing.You simply can't engage in self promotion. There are three arenas for digital marketing:

• Paid Media - Banner ads, paid search listings, Skyscraper ads. You paid for it, you can self promote to beat the band. Insert your ad here.
• Owned Media - Your web site, blog, social networking profile. You own it, so you can publish whatever you want.
• Earned Media - Social networks, review sites, blog sites. Hard to earn, but by far the the most valuable.

Many marketers confuse the different types and foolishly believe they can treat earned media as if they owned it. You can't buy it or even rent it. That's why it's called earned media. If  you find yourself struggling to make sense of earned media, follow these DOs and DON'Ts:

• Don't publish self-serving content, ad's or news in the social networking arena.
• Do build relationships with customers and fans transforming them into advocates who will toot your virtual horn with Facebook Likes, FB group posts, Twitter retweets, and LinkedIn recommendations.
• Don't name or place drop unless you can prove the value to the reader. If you just returned from a world tour, tell me why I should care, or what you learned along the way. Nobody likes to sit through a boring travelogue.
• Do share special offers or events on your Facebook page (not profile). This is where your followers expect to see your promotions.
• Do post comments on blogs or groups, but focus on the value to the community, not yourself.

I believe the key to creating value in the social arena is to first provide value. Build your street cred, let your followers build your movement. Better to be famous than infamous.