As reported by USAToday and CNNMoney, the FAA and airlines are delaying us more, but admit they are doing a better job of dealing with it. I wish I could say I'm dealing with it, but this morning I received the latest installment in US Airway's serial apology series, the "Dividend Miles - Merger Update". After apologizing for having to apology all the time, H.T. Christ, Vice President, Sales and Marketing (Yes, his real name) sprinkles us with a bit of sunshine and blue skies. Apparently they have a solution to the check-in kiosk problem. They have determined that the software in their "West" check-in kiosks doesn't work with the "East" kiosks, so they have decided to replace the hardware(?) Is that like abandoning your car because you can't get a decent station on your radio? Here in the south we use the term "Fixing to" to give us time to pause and reflect on the proper course of action. If we need more time we expand it to "Fixing to think about". US Air has decided to apply this solution to help frequent flyers embrace the idea of delayed gratification. While promoting their new flight information via text tool Christ cautions, "It’s not turned on yet so don’t try it; your phone might explode." But it's not all bad news, Christ demonstrates US Air's keen customer awareness by revealing they have learned many frequent flyers own PDAs and some even use Apple computers "We thought Apple was a fruit." I like humorous emails as much as anyone, but I offended by the tone of the message and the time I needed to scan the message for really important information. I thought about replying directly to Mr. Christ, but in very small print near the bottom there appears this warning, "Please do not reply to this email, it is not monitored. If you'd like to contact us, please visit our website." [No link provided]. Since US Air isn't interested, let me share some thoughts and ideas you can use to create successful web and email based customer communications.

• Is it hard of hearing or hard of listening? Medical science has done a great job of helping the hard of hearing, but when it comes to customer service, hard of listening is often fatal. Idea - For all communications channels, make sure you include a feedback mechinism. Make it convienent for customers to contact you by web, email and phone.
• Hope is not a strategy A recent NY Times headline reads, "Delays by Airlines Rise, but F.A.A. Is Hopeful". Hope springs from ignorance and unrealistic expectations. Idea - Use the technology you already own to identify the percentage of opened messages for your broadcast email campaigns. Use your web sites traffic stats to accurately determine the quantity and quality of the prospects who visit your sites landing pages.
• Don't get cute Comedy is serious business. As a graduate of the ComedyZone Stand-up Comic Course is that these are professionals, so don't try this at home. Idea - Unless you know your audience very well, use a casual, serious tone to share inportant facts and information. As radio talk show host Imus can attest, cute turns to obnoxious in a heartbeat.
• Tell me what to expect Even more frustrating than the delay, it's not knowing what to expect that turns a planeload of frequent flyers into an angry mob on the taxiway. Idea - If you customers are going to have to wait, let them know what to expect. If I leave you a voicemail, when should I expect a response?